The job of caring for someone fighting cancer is a big one. My diagnosis is not only rough on me, its rough on those around me. Quite suddenly they have someone near and dear to them to worry about and to care for ... and its a really big job. Today I find myself more concerned for them than for me. There are a few in particular who have already given a lot.
The first and foremost is Caleb. I am his wife, and he has said many times how he wishes he could take this on for me. I can only imagine how hard it might be to watch your spouse go through what I'm going through. On top of that, he still has to go to work, and function well. When he gets home, there are kids who need to play with him and a wife who's already pretty drained from her day (and I haven't even started treatment!). If you know and love Caleb, I would encourage you to remember to care for him.
He loves: root beer floats, those chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joe's, the batting cages, video games, all things Angels related. And as much as guys aren't talkers, he'll need safe places to vent and talk about all that's going on.
The other two closest to me are my mom and sister. Please remember my diagnosis is hard on them too. Again, to have your daughter or your sister go through a big illness is stressful. For Amy there are also the added implications that she's at greater risk for breast cancer herself. These two will be hugely helpful in running kids around and just being at the house with me when I need help with the kids or the cleaning or whatever. My mom will be managing my care calendar, helping organize meals and other tangible needs. Bottom line, they're going to be here a lot, helping a lot. And they will need to be cared for too!!
Amy loves: fancy dark chocolate bars from Trader Joe's or World Market, Starbucks, Anthropologie
Mom loves: the latest decorating or cooking magazines, pedicures, lunch with friends, the very occasional piece of dark chocolate
Others who will be instrumental in my care over the next months will be Bob and Pam, Caleb's parents. They are going to be on alert for when we need the kids taken away for a while (which might be a lot!). They'll be taking them back to Thousand Oaks for the weekend when I have surgery. And we'll probably need them to do that a few more times over the course of my chemo treatments. They are some of the most practical helpers I've ever known ... helping fix household problems, hemming pants, cleaning, running errands, taking care of the dogs.
Bob and Pam love: Dinners out, Disneyland, anything that gives them a break from the grandkids!
If you know and love these people, please remember they will need to be cared for too. And thank you!
24 October 2013
the caregivers
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We have people praying for Caleb in particular as well as for you. Will add your mom and sis to that list. The hardest part is that we can't do the hard part for you: the pain, the worry, the lack of sleep. We will however do whatever we can to take the burden of caring for you, your family and your house until you are up and at 'em again. Glad we can be of help is a few practical ways. Let us know if there is more we can do.
PS: We don't need a break from the grandkids, but we do need additional energy when we have them. Our biggest stress relievers are enjoying family time and spending time with dear friends doing fun things: game nights, movies, dinner out.
PPS: Praying for you to figure out the magic formula to getting Wynnie back to sleep. You might try bouncing her on the bed like we used to do to her father! ;=)
Love and blessings, Your MIL
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