signs of stress

My eye keeps twitching. My neck and back are STIFF. Yesterday I think I had a pinched nerve thing going on in my neck. I keep catching myself clenching my teeth. I've been eating crackers and chocolate for lunch. I'm extra impatient with my kids. I can't get my head to stop reeling. I cry over silly things, like trying to tie Josie's shoes. Every time I sit down, I have to make a conscious effort not to fall asleep.

And yet ... last night I got to sleep through the night! I don't know if Caleb had to get up with Eowyn or not, but I never heard anything. I woke up more rested than usual. Yesterday Lindsay dropped off dinner, and we had one of our first non-fast food meals in a week (and it was delicious! Thank you Lindsay.). Even though Eowyn gets me up most mornings by 6 a.m., I've turned that early hour into a time of prayer and devotion, starting my day on the right foot (even if that foot had to be up way earlier than it wanted).

I've found myself thankful that I'm going through all this during the colder months. What better time to wear scarves on your head and lots of comfy clothes! Its a cozy time of year, and I'm going to want to be cozy. I have been nothing but pleased and impressed by every doctor and nurse I have met so far. I have a wonderful team at St. Jude. We are being cared for in the most practical ways, too, as folks have been providing formula for the baby. More meals are already scheduled. I am already so thankful for the support of so many friends and family members. What a joy to see the Body of Christ in action! There is already so much to be thankful for.

My mom made a comment yesterday about how this week she is noticeably closer to the Lord than she was last week. And I realized I can easily say that as well. Its amazing what a crisis can do in a person's life. For me, it has drawn me to the Word, to prayer, and already increased my faith.

I know there are tougher days ahead, and I've actually already had some bad days ... but today, I can honestly say I am already blessed by cancer. How weird is that?