the used to's

I used to have goals including hiking tall mountains, reading classic literature and knitting sweaters for everyone I know. Now I have goals like taking a shower and getting a nap. I used to cook dinner every night, and tried to come up with something creative at least once a week. Now dinner is a means to an end and we eat more hot dogs and macaroni and cheese than anyone should. I used to have a fairly nice summer wardrobe in somewhat nice sizes (having lost 25 pounds last year) and now my summer wardrobe consists of about three things I can wear in sizes I'd rather not admit to. I used to take my time eating dinner, using both hands willy nilly. Now I eat most meals either one-handed or as fast as I can without choking. I used to complain when my 9-hour night's sleep was interrupted by an early alarm clock, and now I do a little dance of joy when I get four hours of sleep together.

I used to think life with my husband and my dog was pretty happy and complete. And it was. And yet daily I am learning how much more happy and complete eight pounds of baby can make a family. I used to wonder how I'd ever handle lack of sleep, and now I know: love for a child can make you rise to any occasion.

Nothing could have prepared me for the changes in my life a child would bring. I used to worry about that ... but now I don't. I'll always think back on the "used to's" with fondness, but not with any desire to go return there.