My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

15 June 2009

my new reality

I haven't had much of a chance to post anything about Josie's birth. There were those days in the hospital, then those days at home recovering from the C-section (still recovering), then the intense weariness of it all ... its been hard to get around to regular daily activities. For those who haven't had a chance to check out Caleb's blog, I encourage you to do so. He's got a bunch of pictures up and has been keeping better track of things.

There's so much to say about the last 10 days I hardly know where to start. All I can say succinctly is that my daily reality has made a 180 degree turn. As much as you can "prepare" for something like the birth of a new child, there's no real understanding until it actually happens. Knowing I'll be tired and experiencing actual tiredness are two separate things. Knowing I'll fall in love with a 6 1/2 pound baby one day and actually experiencing that love are two separate things.

Its been a blast, albeit an exhausting one, experiencing all the things so many friends and family members assured me would come to pass. It turns out motherhood IS quite natural, and I've fallen into it pretty smoothly. And Caleb has fallen into fatherhood equally as well. Breastfeeding isn't quite the drama I imagined it would be. And even though NOTHING about birth went the way it was supposed to, somehow everything worked out just right in the end (it helps that I'm finally feeling much better now and moving around well). More about the birth story later.

Miss Josephine (as she prefers to be called) is now 9 days old. I know this might sound funny, but I already feel like she's growing up so fast! The last week has just flown (which, in the case of recovering from surgery, is nice). I already dread how quickly the coming weeks, months, and years will pass. She'll be heading off to college before we know it!

I have so much more to say, but I am still sorting through all my emotions and feelings and observations. I will write more as opportunity allows. I promise. Just know that all is going well, and being a mom is so much more than I ever imagined. It might be a somewhat uncertain adventure we're embarking upon, but I'm more than ready to tackle it. More to come!


Gretchen said...

Heidi, I am so happy for you and I also know how complex the feelings and experience are! It's not an easy experience but it is exhilarating! =0) I've enjoyed seeing pictures of your little missy on Caleb's site and what a cutie she is!!! I love that one picture where her hair is all wild!
Anyways, have fun, rest up and enjoy. =0)

Free Range Chick said...

Congratulations on your new family member. Being a first time mom is so fun as you watch them grow. Good luck through the sleepless nights and busy days.

Rachel said...

We're so thrilled for you and you do sound like a natural new mom! We can't wait to meet Josie. She is darling!

Beav said...

congrats heidi!

Knitting Keep Me sane said...

wow that is amazing how you described you love for your child. Congratulations on your little girl!!!!

km said...

In the first weeks they do change SO fast. I'm glad you've got a family of photographers to capture those moments.

C-section recovery is tough. And for some harder than others. I've had one. (My first and I tried so hard not to ever do it again.) My SIL had 2...her's was better than her labor and so she chose the 2nd one. But, no matter what they say...give yourself 4 months to feel completely like yourself. ('ll never be the same now...having a baby does that...but I mean the surgery healing part) It it happens sooner, you'll be pleasantly surprised, and if it takes that long...then you're not disappointed.

I'm sure we'll see this baby in all her handmade treasures soon.