My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

09 October 2007

if i won ...

Sometimes I daydream about winning the lottery. And winning really big. Like, millions and millions of dollars. Enough to have LOTS left over after I've given half to the government in taxes and tons away to charities and my church. Then I dream about what I'd do with that money ... I'd buy a house and a new car and a new wardrobe and put tons away for retirement (which would start that week, I think). I'd buy great gifts for friends and families. I'd be really wise with my obscene wealth. I promise.

Then sometimes I think about winning just $100,000. And I find myself disappointed. After all the taxes and the giving, I'd have barely enough for a fancy dinner in Italy! What's the point of winning so little!? And I don't even want it.

I've realized that even in my fantasies I'm greedy. Which is probably why my millions only exist in my fantasies. Yes, they'd make life easier on some levels. But is easier really all that much better? I'm honestly not so sure. After I've gone through the scenarios in my head, and then come back down to reality, I realize that what I already have is pretty good. Not only do I have all my physical needs met, I am rich in relationships and situation, the things money can't buy. The rest will all burn anyway, right?

So, I'm left with thoughts akin to those in the newest cheesy country song, If this is as good as it gets, I'm perfectly happy with it.

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