My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

29 November 2013

God saved my life

You know how sometimes truths hit you more deeply one day than they did the previous day? I've always known, believed, that God's hand is in my life. He guides me, protects me, teaches me, disciplines and blesses me. He is present and active in my life. I know this because the Bible tells me it is true, and I have experienced it in many ways throughout my life.

But the other night I was brought to a new level of understanding of just how present God is in my life. Breast cancer was trying to kill me, and I didn't know it. So God saved me. He literally saved my life. If things had gone at all differently this year, I would surely have waited too long to see a doctor about my suspicious lump. I'm not going to play out the "what if's", 'cause that doesn't do anyone any good. But I know me, and I would have waited too long, were I left on my own.

And so I know, without a shadow of a doubt, He saved my life.

And so I've started to think ... why? Why save me? Who am I? It's caused me to think more deeply about what God has called me to do in this life. I don't have a lot of answers right now ... at least none beyond "pursue God more fully, especially as a wife and mom." But it has caused me to begin seeking God in a new way. There is a realness to God's presence in my life that I have never known before. He really is here with me, concerned with me, loving me, blessing me.

Its weird, but my experience so far with breast cancer has shown me more about God's love and care for me than I have ever known. He really truly loves me. He calls me his own. I've always known this in my head, but this truth is making its way deeper into my heart. What a privilege and a blessing, to be a beloved child of God!


melanie said...

Love this! It's so true. In my times of deepest struggle, God was so tangibly close. And it even causes me to miss my depression sometimes, which I know makes no sense, but God was just so real! I'm so glad He's blessing you in this hard stuff of life!

The Homemaker. said...

Heidi, this was such a wonderful post---and so true for me as well. Praying fervently for you and your family.