My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

30 November 2010

still pregnant

Normally, I love to write. Its my favorite way to process life, all its ins and outs, ups and downs, unexpected curves, random left turns and even the occasional "Wow, that went exactly as I'd hoped and planned." But the past several months have been full. REALLY full. So much so that two things happened to hinder my writing-to-figure-out-life posts ... one: really full means little time to sit and write, and two: sometimes I get so overwhelmed by all that's going on, I don't know where I'd start if I DID sit down to write.

But today I have a few moments to myself, and I thought I might start catching up. Let's start with pregnancy.

In early July Caleb and I learned our next child would be another girl. I was very exited. I get girls ... I used to be one. Caleb, however, ... well, he got excited by the time the day ended. You see, my husband is an Eagle Scout, a backpacker, a huge baseball fan, and grows a mean beard. He'd gotten his heart a little set on having a boy this time around. However, he's also a big softy and a sucker for his girls. The other day I sent him to Target to find ivory tights for Josephine, and he succeeded! Its that Eagle Scout training that allows him to conquer any task. And besides, his girls will most likely grow up with an Angels wardrobe, and they will never be without the best hiking boots and backpacks our meager income can afford. Just because they can't be Eagle Scouts doesn't mean they can't be climbing mountains before they start pre-school.

This pregnancy has been a much different one from Josephine. She was a calm baby in the womb, doing mostly yoga moves just a couple times a day. Eleanor? Not so much. The kid is awake ALL the time, and prefers kickboxing to anything so calm and controlled as yoga. My symptoms have also been more severe this time around ... including swelling in my hands so bad that for the past few weeks they haven't stopped tingling and tend to go numb just holding a pencil or a spoon or when I try to sleep ... regularly. This girl is SO in trouble already.

Last week the ultrasound tech told us her head size was in the 93rd percentile. It doesn't surprise me, our poor kids come from two long lines of big heads. But the tech thought it was funny to suggest rethinking that VBAC option and just going for the C-Section. I didn't think it was so funny. And yet, it wouldn't surprise me if Ella causes more trouble at delivery than Josie did. Somehow I think all this kicking around in the womb is just a taste of what is to come.

I am getting so excited to finally meet our little girl. All her dancing and jumping around has left me few opportunities to forget she's coming, and it leaves me curious about just who she will be, and become. I know its a big leap, going from one kid to two, but we are excited about our growing family. And despite its future difficulties, I love that we're having a baby at Christmas! I think its going to be a blast.

Her official due date is December 20, but I have given her permission to come early if she wants. For all her kicking, you'd think she was getting pretty anxious to get out! But we'll see what she and my body have in store. My only hope: not to be IN the hospital on Christmas.

We'll of course be posting pics and stories when the big day finally arrives. Yay for new babies!


km said...

Still praying for your pregnancy and for a smooth delivery. I did have a VBAC with my #2 & #3. For #2 I had scheduled a C-section at the very last possible moment. Then I asked every praying friend to beseech the Lord for his early arrival. He came 2 weeks before that scheduled date! God it good and He knows exactly what delivery will be best for you and your baby. I'm guessing if you can't hold a pencil, a knitting needle is out of the question. But, if you'd like to get together and knit over some tea...shoot me an email.

Free Range Chick said...

for Caleb,
I have two girls and though my husband was never a scout, he likes all that outdoor stuff, too. Adventure Guides thru the YMCA is a great daddy/daughter bonding program for kinder-2nd grade. And why we now own a ton of camping and hiking gear. I'm a girl scout troop leader and GS love having dads that participate. These days everything out their for boys, dads can do with their girls.

Heidi, I'm wishing you an early and happy December baby, congrats again.

Goes On Runs said...

my second baby was born 4 years ago on december 20.....he was 4 days early. he was active in womb and active in life..... i pray for an early baby..... so no hospital on christmas.