My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

10 November 2009

the baby weight

So, how old does your baby have to be before people stop thinking of your slightly rounder body as a side effect instead of poor life habits? My body and I have been fighting over weight loss since the day I came home from the hospital, and so far she's been winning the battle. I have never lost weight easily. But a couple years ago Caleb and I really started pursuing better health, and I lost 25 pounds. Go me! And then I got pregnant. Which was exciting, and as a result we now have the most beautiful daughter born since the beginning of time. But its been five months now (can you believe it?) and I'm ready to have my body back. Its just that I'm starting to realize that weight loss after pregnancy isn't as easy as everyone says it should be. Myth #1: Breastfeeding helps weight loss. Myth #2: Just give it a couple months and it practically starts to shed by itself. Myth #3: Gaining 25 - 30 pounds during pregnancy is normal and should come off pretty easily (only about half has come off so far).

Don't get me wrong, I'm at peace with myself, for the most part. I just don't FEEL like myself. I don't fit in to my old clothes and everything about me feels soft and a bit sluggish. There was a time I climbed 14,000-foot mountains in a day! I went to the gym several times a week. I got up early to take long walks (yes, I hated it, but I did it). Where did that girl go? I guess instead of an early morning gym run I have an early morning feeding. Tall mountains have been replaced by the one flight of stairs in my condo ... which I gladly climb so I can take a nap. Long walks have been replaced by too much TV, because its all I have the energy and the motivation to do. (Though you should see the amount of knitting I'm getting done.)

And yet, I do have 30 pounds to lose (23 pounds of baby weight, plus seven to reach my goal). That's a lot of work!! Especially when you're me, and just watching Pillsbury commercials causes weight gain. I know its been five months since Josie was born, and I feel like I should be back in full swing of my old life ... but its just not that simple. I still don't get a full night's sleep, meaning I'm usually less than fully awake. Finding time to exercise around the baby's schedule is its own juggling act. And then I've added a part-time job to the mix, which ups my stress level. Add to that trying to eat well on limited time and a tight budget ... and its just a lot to manage. And I'm still getting used to this whole motherhood thing! Its a ball, but its a huge transition. And so I ask once again ... how old can Josie be before I can't get away with "baby weight" any more?


erin miller said...

Heidi - don't be hard on yourself - With each of my pregnancies it took me a FULL YEAR to get down to my pre-prego weight (and yes, I breastfed exclusively for the whole year with each one). I gained 50 pounds, 40 pounds, then 33 pounds in each of my pregnancies and each one took the full year to get down to my normal weight. Why? I don't know...Everyone is so different - I'd just encourage you to enjoy your baby (which it seems like you're doing!) and don't worry as much about the weight until you're done nursing her. It is important to rest when you can b/c they are such energy zappers (even though they're cute & adorable)! I can't believe she is already 5 mos old! :)

km said... baby is 4 1/2. ;0) In all honesty. I gained 50 lbs in my first pregnancy. Not the recommended 20-30. Because of the C-section...and then the close 2nd pregnancy, I'd only lost 25 by the time I started the the whole thing again. Thankfully I only gained 25 the 2nd time. But that still put me back up to those high numbers. I did lose a ton of weight with WW between 2 & 3...but then the weight from #3 is still lingering. And...yes Myth #1 stinks...for some of my friends that was true. For me, I didn't loose weight until I weaned each kid. Do you think I can still call it baby weight...or do I have to just own it for myself?

Goes On Runs said...

i echo erin's words! it took me a full year with my first two pregnancies. my third well.... i am still in the middle of losing that weight and it is rough going! after six months of exclusively nursing, i lost six pounds. that would be one pound for each month since leaving the hospital. argh!!! it is so hard not to be hard on oneself..... especially when the memory of what i looked like before is not that far away. it is hard to be balanced, reasonable, and still love where you are fully. it takes time.... hang in there! it doesn't happen over night but it does happen.