thoughts on Christmas

I've been thinking about Christmas lately (hard not to do in the middle of December). Last weekend at the Christmas dessert at church our associate pastor's wife spoke. She brought us back to the manger, to the very reason we celebrate the season at all. Now, there are years when even that can seem cliche. What else is there to talk about at church during Christmas but baby Jesus, right? But this is not one of those cliche years for me. I need it, I need to be brought back to the very reason I fight mall crowds, mall traffic, mall prices. I need to be quieted before the scene of Christ's birth in this world, and be reminded of its miraculous nature.

This year as I continue to ponder the conundrum of spiritual growth without external hardship, I am finding myself first and foremost in need of a Savior. Do you ever have times in your life when you are keenly aware of your own sin, inadequacy, unworthiness? As I've continued to wrestle with my own ineptitude at sacrificing even minutes in my day to spend with God, I have become keenly aware of my need for Him. I can't succeed at my life on my own, as desperately as I try. And I'm realizing I've been trying for a long time now, trying to be the self-made woman. And yet its all for naught. Not only am I incapable of truly succeeding on my own, somewhere within me still lives that deep-seeded belief that self-made success is not what this life is about. Being what and who God wants me to be, following his example and his plan, allowing him to guide and direct my life ... THAT is success. I'm not sure how that simple truth got left behind in recent years ... but somehow it did. And I'm slowly but surely recognizing that as much as I can succeed at so many things on my own, it is a hollow kind of success without God at its center.

If you've been following this blog lately you've seen all the Christmas music I've been selling. I've been listening to a lot of it lately, and one thing you can't avoid with Christmas music is the reminder that Jesus came to save the world. And as I've listened nearly non-stop to powerful songs like "O Holy Night," "Away in a Manger," "O Come All Ye Faithful," and a myriad of original songs on the subject, I find my heart drawn more and more to the manger, to the God who came as a baby, so that I might be saved. And I am humbled. I am so aware that I did not deserve it.

Following are the lyrics to "Here With Us" by Joy Williams. Obviously, its more powerful when heard with music, and if you get a chance, I urge you to listen. I think it does a great job at capturing the incongruity of the God of the universe coming to earth as a helpless infant.

It's still a mystery to me that the hands of God could be so small
How tiny fingers reaching in the night were the very hands that measured the sky

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Heaven's love reaching down to save the world
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Son of God, Servant King, Here with us
You're here with us

Its still a mystery to me how His infant eyes have seen the dawn of time
How His ears have heard an angels' symphony
But still Mary had to rock her Savior to sleep

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Heaven's love reaching down to save the world
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Son of God, Servant King, Here with us
You're here with us

Jesus the Christ born in Bethlehem
A baby born to save ... to save the souls of man

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Heaven's offering sent down to save the world
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Son of God, Servant King, Here with us

Oh, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Heaven's offering sent down to save the world
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Son of God, Servant King- Here with us
You're here with us
You're here with us