My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

17 May 2007

weight loss update

Weight loss has to be one of the hardest endeavors I have ever undertaken. There is just no easy way around it, if I want to lose weight I have to constantly eat the right things, and I must exercise … regularly! And being as how I still have about 25 pounds to lose, still more than half my original goal, I sometimes look at the road ahead with a sense of profound weariness. I find my motivation waning, my enthusiasm dissipating. I’ve already been at this so long, and I just want to be finished.

In the last two months I lost all of three pounds, one of which I gained back over a weekend I decided to eat chocolate chip cookies like they were just chips.

I suddenly realized my whole plan was under attack. I was still working out in the mornings, but skipping more days than I really should have. And I was cheating more and more with foods I should have been saying “no” to. Slowly but surely, though for the most part I wasn’t gaining anything back, I was no longer losing.

I think there are a couple factors contributing to my current plateau. One, I’m a little tired of all the early morning exercising and the daily denial of things I want. Two, I’ve had to toss half my wardrobe already, indicating some real success in the past several months … and I started really enjoying how much I’ve already lost (nearly 20 pounds … nothing to shake a fist at, I realize). My satisfaction with what I’ve already done began to overshadow the need to lose any more. And three, selfish desires and a loss of vision just plain took over.

But I don’t want to settle for half way! Especially when I KNOW I can do this. So, I’m revamping. I’m ready to attack this goal again, its time to get back to regular weight loss. At the rate I’ve BEEN going, I wouldn’t reach my goals until 2010, and that is simply unacceptable, Soldier!

Whoa, sorry.

Anyway, I’ve done it once already, so there’s no excuse to thinking I couldn’t do it again. If I lost 20 pounds once, why can’t I do it again? No reason, I say. No reason at all. Besides, its time to push on and get myself to the true finish line.

My reasons now are borne more out of frustration and an overwhelming desire to just be DONE with the weight loss part of my life and get onto weight maintenance. Maintenance is not simple, but it’s sure easier than loss. Loss requires harder exercising and more restrictive eating. Maintenance allows for a few more treats here and there, and I like treats.

So I made a plan for myself, an ambitious plan. I want to be done by September 1. If I lose 1.5 pounds a week until then, I’ll be there. I’ll be at my goal. Yes, its ambitious. But I’ve already proven to myself that when I’m focused and determined, I CAN lose that pound-and-a-half a week! I CAN! And the sooner I get it done, the sooner it will be … well … done. And the vision of myself a few sizes smaller, the one I see so clearly in my mind’s eye, will be a reality. Look out Brea Mall!!

This is my first week back on strict weight-loss habits. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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