a night at the theater

On Friday night Caleb and I finally completed his Christmas present to me, and went to see Phantom of the Opera at the Orange County Performing Arts Center. They did a fantastic show, and the actors playing Christine and Raul were spectacular. The Phantom's voice wasn't quite as spectacular as I would want the Phantom's to be, but Caleb and I decided maybe we were comparing him to Michael Crawford, in which case no one would quite measure up. They also did a smaller ending, which we thought odd, considering the rest of the show was exactly as it should have been. Otherwise, it was a completely enjoyable evening. Merry Christmas to me!

Happy Birthday Lucas!

surprised by brad pitt

On Wednesday night Caleb and I watched The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. It was released in 2007 and only recently came out on DVD. We'd had it in our Netflix queue for a month, but due to its high demand, we had to wait a while before there was a disc available for our viewing pleasure.

Ten minutes into the movie I began to worry that I would be bored, that the movie would be slow and long and boring (we checked the playing time before it started .... 2 1/2 hours!). But as it got going, I found myself enthralled. It was like watching someone's imagination as they're being told a story.

First of all, I must mention that the cinematography was fantastic, and it gets a full 5 stars from me. It was at times dreamlike, with fuzzy edges and a creative use of motion. It used mostly available light (as opposed to artificial lighting of scenes), which gave things a slightly more "real" feel. If you watch this movie for no other reason, watch it for the cinematography. It gets 5 stars from me.

Second, I am not what I presume is a "typical Brad Pitt fan." But he did an excellent job at portraying an almost-crazy Jesse James, who had to have been haunted by the men he'd killed, his near-death experiences, and the constant paranoia that he would be found out, caught, even killed. He was most wary of his own band of outlaws, knowing the reward for turning him in was tempting. Brad Pitt truly impressed me. He gets 5 stars.

Thirdly, and still on the acting note, Ben Affleck's little brother Casey certainly earned that Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Robert Ford. Bob was obsessed with Jesse James, had a collection of all the dime novels written about him, had collected so much data on Jesse James he knew his shoe size and every small thing they had in common. Casey played this somewhat creepy idolization and obsession perfectly, its subtlety leaving you feeling a little uncomfortable about Bob. As they begin riding together, and their odd friendship remains tense, by the time Bob shoots his lifelong hero, it seems logical. Casey definitely gets 5 stars.

Fourthly, the movie played out almost like a documentary, complete with narration which filled in the blanks of the scenes and acts of the play. I liked, too, that it went on to tell about what happened to Bob after he killed Jesse, how he became famous first, and then eventually known as a coward. The movie closes only after Bob's story is played out, and there is definite closure to these sad lives. Story gets 5 stars.

Though the movie held to its somewhat slow pace, in the end it was perfectly suited to the story it told. Its a fascinating story, one I think was told quite well told through what I had thought would be a waste of my evening.

It is rated R, mostly for bits of startling and strong violence, so I can't recommend the movie freely. But if things like that don't bother you so much, its worth a watch, surprisingly so.

a weekend in pictures (lots of them)

We spent this past weekend in Thousand Oaks, home of the Westons. We celebrated my brother's-in-law birthdays and Easter. We also spent time on Saturday perusing local yarn and book stores, took our nephews to the park for a while, and had a generally relaxing time. Here are a few (or, not-so-few) highlights.

This is Andrew, Caleb's youngest brother. He just turned 26 (on the 19th), finally old enough to wear found household items as hats.

This is Lucas and Christie. Lucas' birthday is the 30th, and he will be 29.


Andrew, those are candles. You're supposed to make a wish and blow them out, and all your dreams will come true.

Christie with her Mother-of-Twins arms has no trouble holding up the boys while their father blows out his candles. Conrad thought that was the funniest thing he'd seen all day (he's on the left).


Here's Dad Dub with a happy Gerschwin on his lap, watching the birthday boys open presents.


Grandma's sure giving Burke the best time he's had all day.


Here's Burke and Conrad absolutely enthralled by a light Uncle Caleb keeps turning on and off. Oh to be so easily entertained ...


Self/Husband Portrait.


Gerschwin, oddly still long enough to snap a picture.


Dessert. When's DESSERT???!


I did so much knitting this weekend my hands were pretty sore by Sunday night. This is the beginnings of a hat I was able to finish by the end of the day. Its a fun hat, and fortunately I've learned enough about knitting to decipher this pattern, which was just about the worst I'd ever had to follow.


Brent was obviously wildly entertained by the day's activities.


Uncles Caleb and Andrew helped the boys navigate the slide at the playground. This is Conrad, ready for the plunge.


If you've been outside in Southern California lately, surely you've noticed how everything is so beautifully in bloom! I couldn't help but record it. This tree is in the church parking lot.

And that was our weekend ... lots of family, plenty of relaxing, good eats and a few presents. What more can a person ask for?

the Wildflowers

One of my favorite parts of our weekend in Death Valley was taking most of Saturday afternoon to go wildflower hunting. The valley is just exploding with flowers, and it was beautiful to see. Some were easy to find, some we had to hunt for. Fortunately every road in the valley has a nice big shoulder for cars to pull over, which we did ... often ... to admire and photograph the different flowers we could find.

This is the only picture I took of any wildflowers that came out half-way decent. Because of the crazy wind, I simply couldn't get one that wasn't blurry. But Caleb has a better camera, and his pictures turned out much better. Anyway, if you look closely, you can see a sea of yellow off in the distance, just below the hills ... that's what most of the valley floor looked like ... covered in wild yellow flowers called Desert Gold.

This is the Desert Gold up close. (This and the rest of these pictures were taken by my more-capable husband.)

This is called Gravel Ghost, and literally grows right out of the gravel.

This was my favorite we found, called a Desert Five-Spot.

This is the Desert Five-Spot plant.

Not sure what this one is called, but its a really bright yellow flower.

This is a desert bush, with really neat curling leaves that grow sideways to protect themselves as much as possible from the hot desert sun.

For the rest of the pictures I took take a look at the website, here. We're still waiting for Caleb to finish working on the much-better pictures he took ... which will hopefully be up soon.

Good Reads

My good friend in Atlanta just brought to my attention this great website called Good Reads. Its a website specifically for readers to share their thoughts about books! Its a great place to find out what other people are reading, get average ratings on books and get new ideas on what to read. I'm already signed up ... join me if you dare!

Happy Birthday Andrew!

(Hope you liked the cookies)

a few more pictures from DV

Here are just a couple more pictures from our trip. The rest of the truly good pictures Caleb took. I hope to get a few of them soon and share them with you.

Badwater, Death Valley. There's a spot out on that dry lake bed behind me that is the actual lowest point in the Western Hemisphere at 282 feet below sea level.

Lunch at Artist's Palette.

Really, Caleb got much better pictures of this colorful hillside.

our windy weekend

Caleb and I spent this past weekend enjoying the expansive and varied beauty of Death Valley. Everything about our weekend was quite pleasant. The weather was warm, we got the last campsite available in the campground we wanted, we had plenty of time to see and do the things we wanted, and the local general store actually had hot coffee to buy. Everything was going well ....

And then the winds came. It didn't get real bad until Saturday afternoon, but then all it did was get blustier and blustier. It seemed the wind was waging war on all things stationary. Surely it could upend more than mere chairs! Fortunately for Hunkyness and myself, we found it mostly entertaining (until it was time to pack up and we had to unload everything from the tent that was previously holding it down). Sleep was a little more fitful than we'd planned on, as it was not uncommon to be awakened by the tent wall hitting our faces, or the thunderous noise of the tent being blown around as the wind made regular attempts to lift it right off the ground. The pictures below give a hint at the wind's fury. (More pictures to come.)

Here's Caleb trying to stake the tent to the ground. The ground proved unstakable though, so we had to use rocks, which turned out not to be very effective.

It was a little frustrating, to say the least, to try and anchor the tent as it spent as much energy trying to get away.

You might see now how sleep was sometimes ... hard to come by. Well, at least we know we bought a well-made tent. For all its bending and twisting, it held together all night long.

This tent was a few campsites down from us, and we couldn't stop laughing at how it looked like it was trying to take off! I just had to go and get a picture.

It might be hard to tell, but if you look just above the dry lake bed (which was formerly Owens Lake) you'll see white dust being blown off the ground. It was quite impressive to see up close ... not to mention the snow-capped Eastern Sierras for a backdrop.

We really do have more great pictures from our weekend ... but we just haven't had time to download everything and organize it yet. I promise we'll get to it soon!

the sweater

Some time ago I finished my first knitted sweater. At that time, I posted a few pictures of the process and an image of the finished sweater on a table. I hadn't actually modeled it. Part of the reason was that I still had to sew a button on. Well, last weekend I finally did that, and I took the sweater with me on our trip to Death Valley. While I was there, I realized the colors in the sweater echo the colors of the desert, and have since dubbed it my "desert sweater." Here are a few pictures of me in the sweater I knit for myself. I'm still in awe that it turned out at all. (Please forgive my bandana/sunglasses camping chic look.) We took these pictures while lunching at Artist's Palette in Death Valley on Saturday, March 15.

Its also quite warm, which is helpful on chilly blustery days in the desert.

On cold days I can just turn that collar up.

Here's the back.

cool website find

I was recently surfing the World Wide Web looking for information on when the sun would be rising and setting in Norway when we're there in May ... and came across the COOLEST website! Do you want to know what time it is in Brussels RIGHT NOW? Do you want to know when the sun will set in Caracas on May 4? Do you want to know how long the day will be in Perth on June 25? Do you want to know the capital of Albania or what the best time would be to call Albania? This website will tell you!! Its very cool. There are sunrise and sunset, moonrise and moonset calculators, time difference calculators, weather forecasts around the world, general calendars for any year, date calculators, and even a countdown to 2009. I happen to find stuff like this uber fascinating. Perhaps you will too.

Its TimeandDate.com (oddly enough). Check it out.

Incidentally, while we're in Norway in May, the sun will be rising around 5:30, and not setting until 9:30! We'll have plenty of daylight to see everything we want to see, maybe even too much ... hopefully our hotels have black out curtains to allow us sleeper-inners a little more dozing time in the early hours.

to the valley of death!

This weekend Hunkyness and I are taking a much-anticipated mini vaca (that's "vacation" without the "tion") to Death Valley, one of our absolute favorite places. To those who've never been, it seems an anomoly, I know. Why vacation in a place whose very claim to fame is its arid climate and intense heat? My answer: Because it has a superb and unique beauty all its own ... and because there's nobody else there! If ever a person really wanted to "get away from it all," Death Valley definitely fits that description. Here's a picture from our last trip, almost exactly a year ago:

For the rest of the pictures from that trip, and some great insight into Death Valley's varied beauty, click here. And a small piece of history about DV is copied below. Honestly, if you've never tried, Death Valley is a fantastically beautiful, calm, wide-open, empty space. Its easier to take deep breaths and relaxation is impossible not to achieve. If we don't get out there at least once a year, we start to shrivel. Its very unpleasant, so we heed the call whenever possible, and pitch our tent in the valley of death for a few days.

A brief piece of history (stolen verbatim from the Wikipedia page on the subject):

The California Gold Rush brought the first Europeans known to visit the immediate area. In December 1849 two groups of California Gold Country-bound White travelers with perhaps 100 wagons total stumbled into Death Valley after getting lost on what they thought was a shortcut off the Old Spanish Trail. Called the Bennett-Arcane Party, they were unable to find a pass out of the valley for weeks and were forced to eat several of their oxen to survive but were able to find fresh water at the various springs in the area. They used the wood of their wagons to cook the meat and make jerky. The place where they did this is today referred to as "Burned Wagons Camp" and is located near the sand dunes.

After abandoning their wagons they eventually were able to hike out of the valley through the rugged Wingate Pass. Just after leaving the valley one of the women in the group turned and said, "Goodbye Death Valley," giving the valley its enduring name (in fact only one person of the group died in Death Valley, an elderly man named Culverwell, who was half dead already when he entered the Valley). Included in the party was William Lewis Manly whose autobiographical book Death Valley in '49 detailed this trek and greatly popularized the area (geologists later named the prehistoric lake that once filled the valley after him).

For the rest of Wikipedia's knowledge on the subject, click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Valley_National_Park

flower explosion

You don't have to look far around you these days to see that Spring is definitely springing. Flowers are blooming everywhere! This weekend Caleb and I are heading out to Death Valley for a couple days to see what other wildflowers we can find and enjoy. For now, we enjoy the explosion of yellow going on just behind our own little home in Fullerton. Enjoy the picts!

This is part of the path we walk regularly.

Caleb. Flowers. Both pleasing to the eye.

The yellow hill. And that's the water tower we walk up to.

Cactus, lit by sun.

From Wikipedia: There are different views on when the season starts and finishes.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary states that spring comprises "in the northern hemisphere usually the months of March, April, May, or as reckoned astronomically extending from the vernal equinox (March 20) to the June solstice (June 21)." The Southern Hemisphere experiences spring during the months of August, September, October.

The actual dates vary depending on the year from March 20 or 21 to June 20 or 21 for the Northern hemisphere and from September 20 or 21 to December 20 or 21 for the Southern hemisphere.

Chinese dinner

Last month my mom and I were involved in a mentoring program at our church, she a mentor, I a mentoree. During our Saturday get-togethers the program included an hour of cooking lesson, which I loved. I learned a lot, and gained some confidence in my own cooking ability. One of the meals we learned was a Chinese meal, complete with egg drop soup, eggrolls and beef stir-fry. The meal is a time-consuming one, so my mom and I decided it might be fun to make an evening out of it one day. So, on Sunday, we made a completely Chinese dinner for a modest group of six (it would have been eight, but my brother got sick). We had a great time cooking, and an even greater time eating. Here's a few pictures from the evening ...

We were constantly checking the recipes for directions.

For dessert we made a banana roll-up cake ... which was YUMMY. This is my mom, dad and Amy involved in the actually "roll up" part of the cake.

The table. So pretty.

The egg rolls were the most time-consuming part of the meal. Here my mom demonstrates how to fill one and roll it ....

... and then we each made our own.

Here's mom frying the egg rolls ... which turned out delicious. (This is also moments before the heat accidentally got too high and my dad got hot oil splattered onto his face. Don't worry, he's OK.)

Here's Joel, me and Caleb rolling egg rolls.

Happy Birthday Hans!

letting go is hard to do

Sometimes after a passionate and distressing conversation I begin to realize, much to my chagrin, that perhaps it is I who needs a shift in attitude, understanding, or simple faith. Recently, as we were talking about the future and finances and how we'll ever be able to afford a more financially demanding life, I was telling my husband how hard it can be for me to let it rest and simply say "oh, everything will be fine." You see, I don't believe that. I don't. Try and make me. You will fail.

I don't believe things will work out unless I plan accordingly, unless each step is calculated to make sure I'm headed in the right direction, until enough research has been done to plan for every eventuality, until every problem has been solved and every possible question has been considered ... AND answered. How in the WORLD can you believe, with a casual toss of the hand, that "everything will be fine" if you don't plan for fine!? Its nigh unto impossible!

Now, lest you think I exaggerate for the sake of literary effect, or that this is a lot of mock frustration to elicit emotion from my reader, let me have you know I've shed real tears over this, including a good sob session just this week. I really have a hard time letting go of the things I can't figure out, can't plan for, can't answer. I consider most problems in life a challenge, most opposition like an algebra problem that must be solved to pass the class, and no problem is too complex. Maybe it was all those years of being single and self-suficient, but it simply is not in my nature to just let things "play out," as it were. I am convinced that kind of attitude is a recipe for imminent disaster.

This, of course, leaves me distraught and distressed more often than not. My head can recognize its fairly unrealistic to think I can plan for every eventuality and answer every question life hands me. But still, its in my nature to try (and honestly, how often does the head control the actions, anyway?). My downfall often comes from the fact that up to now there are a lot of problems I HAVE been able to solve, questions I've answered, obstacles through which I have slogged and come out victorious. I am an intelligent, creative, somewhat stubborn woman, and have yet to be confronted with trials I was not willing to battle.

As I've argued with those around me, I've discovered one advantage the "oh, it'll be fine" crowd has: a propensity for faith. Or at the very least, they have a relaxed attitude about the unknown, a willingness to let tomorrow worry about itself while they deal with today. Its built in to their personalities, their very nature. They truly are relaxed and will deal with whatever comes when it comes, and not until then. I seem to be surrounded by these people, which can be very annoying. But for the first time in a while, I'm beginning to see these people in a new light, and my annoyance is turning to envy. What I once saw as irresponsibility and flightiness I'm now beginning to see as something akin to faith.

In the midst of my most recent battle with the unknown, having once again run the gamut of my emotions, I began to hear gentle reminders from the Lord. When has he ever failed me? When has he proven himself unfaithful? Is there some part of my future life he hasn't already figured out, questions he hasn't answered, equations he hasn't solved? I may have miniscule knowledge of the all-powerful and almighty God, but this I know: God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is faithful. He cannot not be faithful, its not in his nature (just as letting go of tomorrow tends not to be in mine). He's already been where I'm going, and he will walk with me as I go through it myself.

For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of another huge chapter of unknowns in my life. Unknowns distress me. They truly do. And those of you who's nature it is not to be concerned about such things, count your blessings. Its uncomfortable being distressed by these things, but I imagine this very struggle will be a lifelong one for me. God will consistently have to remind me of his faithfulness, his love and care for me. He cares for the sparrows of the field! How much more must he care for me?? My problem here is my self-suficiency. Self-suficiency and faith do not work well together. I'm going to be a handful as I continue to try and learn this lesson. But I DO want to learn, and I want to learn it well.

(By the way, I would recommend against the "Oh, everything will fine" routine when I come to you with a question I can't answer. It will still be a while before it doesn't make me angry.)

Though I have a hard time believing that "everything will be fine," I DO believe that God is good, and that he is faithful, and that he holds my life, my future, and the lives and futures of everyone around me, in the palm of his powerful, loving and almighty hand. He will not let me fall, he will not tempt me with more than I can handle, he will be my strength to endure and the source of all great blessings. THESE are the truths I've let slip from my mind, the truths I need to remember to hold fast to, the very truths that bring peace to my distressed heart.

Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

christie's bday

Christie's actual birthday was February 28, and we actually all got together last Thursday and had dinner at Disneyland. We also got together for a more complete (read: presents and cake) celebration on Sunday afternoon. Happy Birthday once again!

Christie realized the moment I took this picture that she was scratching her nose at the same time, and seemed a little chagrined at the thought ... so I thought it only fitting the picture be made public, for the eyes of the masses.

These candles relit 8 times I think. So Christie got an unfair number of wishes. And that brownie dessert was delectible.

Burke had only just woken up. I could have done the chicken dance for him and he would probably still have stared at me just as blankly. Kids are funny. 'Course, who am I to talk ... I'm pretty catatonic myself when I've only just woken up. So its OK Burke, take all the time you need to bring your mind to a proper state of consciousness. I understand.

an evening at disneyland

On Friday night Caleb and I had the great privilege of accompanying my cousin Joy, her husband and their daughter to Disneyland! We had a great time ... here's a few picts!

Liana on the carousel. Caleb and I took her for a ride while James and Joy went and rode California Screamin' right next door.

She's tall enough for the bumper cars!

Joy trying to get close enough to take a picture of me and Caleb on the bumper cars.

Quick, before they make us get out!

Joy's as bad as my husband about keeping her eyes open ... this is at the end of Pirates.