the first wearable sweater

I've never been shy about attempting something I don't know how to do well. I'm willing to look up instructions in the middle of a pattern, find experts and ask questions if need be, and I have a fair amount of good old fashioned Hammer tenacity in my blood, which says "Oh, I could do that," no matter the project.

And so I bring you the first sweater I have ever knit that is actually wearable! I started collecting this yarn a while ago, one skein at a time, bought here and there. Eventually I came across a cardigan pattern I thought would be perfect for this striping yarn ... and regardless of the fact there were elements of the pattern I didn't understand, I figured it would come to me by the time I got there. One step at a time, right?

I started knitting just after Christmas, and got the main part done pretty quickly ... and then as I went to start the sleeves, realized I didn't have the right size needles. So while I waited for the needles (which I had to order) I started another sweater (which is still in pieces). Eventually my needles arrived and I was able to finish the project. There were definitely moments of consulting knitting glossaries and even watching a few knitting how-to videos, but I finished it ... and it actually turned out cute! And, get this ... it fits! The only thing left to get is a button, but otherwise this one is ready to wear! I'm actually a little surprised at myself ... and yet once again I see what a little perseverance and tenacity can accomplish.

This initial part, the lower main body of the cardigan (this is the back and both front sides) was finished quickly, but at this point it was time to work the sleeves. It would be another week and a half or so before I got back to the project.

Originally, I didn't realize my yarn was a striping yarn. I thought it was just variegated (where the colors would change a lot more frequently and create more of a mottled pattern than these stripes). But, as I worked it, I decided I really liked it!

This cardigan was worked from the bottom up. At the point where the sleeves join the sweater, at the armpits, it becomes one big project and the rest of the yoke is worked as one piece, including sleeves. I'd never done anything like this before, but I really like the way it brings the whole piece together ... it looks more continuous and less pieced together.

And here it is! My finished cardigan. Can you believe it?? Me neither. I promise to have pictures taken this weekend of the sweater on me ... I need a button still, and daylight for the photographs. But it really does fit!

This is the detail at the sleeve join. Isn't it pretty?

the weather

I love the rain. For the past week and a half or so, it has been cold and rainy, meaning I've been reveling in the weather. Its allowed me to wear wool sweaters without getting too hot, actually USE the waterproof-ness of my waterproof jacket, and sleep extra well all cozy under the covers. Its perfect soup weather, of which I've eaten much, and good cuddle-on-the-couch-and-watch-a-movie weather. It happens also to be great-excuse-to-skip-the-early-morning-gym-workout weather, and so I missed two work outs last week. But we so seldom get this weather, I've decided not to regret those early morning decisions to heed the call of the weather and stay in bed.

This morning Garth Kemp on Channel 7 said we've had more rain in the last week than we got in all of 2007 ... and we're already 5 inches ahead of normal. So I'm also excited for Southern California and the much-needed drenching.

Also, if you happened to see the mountains in Saturday, during our moments of clear skies, you had yourself a chance for an absolutely spectacular, once-in-a-decade vision of snow covered San Gabriels. It was beautiful. Caleb took pictures, and I'll be sure to share them with you when I get a copy. It really was spectacular.

Yay for weather!

countdown

My birthday is exactly 5 months from today!

that damn scale

Some of you out there have never had to bother much about seriously losing weight. Either you have a metabolism that will conquer an entire Mother Lode chocolate cake with a vengeance, or you've just always been a healthy and conscientious eater. For you, the scale has probably never been much of a sworn enemy, and your love-hate relationships don't have much to do with food and exercise equipment. Today I envy you. For those who've never had to lose more than a few pounds here and there, it might be difficult to understand just what a struggle it can be. And for me it isn't about some unrealistic Mary Kate and Ashley Olson size goal ... its about being healthy, climbing mountains without dying, having energy to get through my day, and being able to be active when I grow old. And a big part of being healthy is being at a healthy weight ... which I'm still about 20 pounds from. And MAN is it hard!

Last week when I stepped on the scale (which I do only once a week to gauge progress), it told me I'd lost two pounds that week. YAY! I was back on track after the holidays and two pounds closer to my goal. And then this week when I stepped on the scale, I think the scale decided to play games a little ... because after another week of regular exercise and better eating habits, it said I had not only gained those two pounds back, but an additional pound as well! How could this be!?! It really threw me off for the whole morning, and got me thinking about just how much work this last 20 pounds is going to be.

Obviously, I have to seriously cut out sugary snacks ... even that small handful of m&m's I allow myself some days (not even every day!). Then there's the creamer in my ONE cup of decaf coffee in the morning. Is that making that much of a difference? What about the size of my piece of chicken or salmon? Is it too big? Am I eating too many nuts in my morning snack? Do I really have to turn to disgusting non-fat, low-sugar, no-taste substitutions for the real thing? Is that really the only way? I already eat mostly protein and fruits and veggies. I cut out most starches, allowing myself just enough to make minimum daily fiber requirements. I drink only water (after that cup of coffee). I skip all desserts and snack on healthy things like fruit and nuts. But apparently, to really do this weight loss thing effectively, and in a somewhat timely manner, I'm going to have to be more than just good, I'm going to have to seriously buckle down.

Its just such a steep learning curve. I've never been a really bad eater, and I've already made a lot of really good permanent changes in my diet. But apparently more must be done. I just wish I knew what. There are programs I could join, experts I could consult, even pills I could take ... but I'm too stubborn. Surely I can do this! Its just about eating right and exercising, right? And yet the scale says there must be more. Its frustrating.

That's where I am today: frustrated. Still getting up early to exercise, still making the wise food choices, and just praying this week's venture onto the scale is more encouraging.

blessings

I believe it is gratefulness that resides in the heart of contentment. And, because contentment can sometimes be a daily battle with me, periodically I like to take time to remember the many and great blessings in my life.

Not long ago I was thinking through 2007 and what a great year it was. I was able to travel several places with my husband, even summited a 14,000-foot peak. I was able to visit my very dear friend Kimberly in Florida. I celebrated my first wedding anniversary with the man of my dreams. I stayed relatively healthy (we'll pretend that little kidney stone incident didn't happen). Those around me stayed relatively healthy. Even with hospital bills to pay, we didn't experience any unmanageable debt in our lives, though it was a great temptation at times (see having to buy a refrigerator instead of the TV we've been saving for). In general, it was a great year, and the blessings were many.

But even without the travel and the opportunities we were able to take advantage of, when I stop to think about the relationships in my life, I begin to find myself most amazingly blessed.

I am married to the most amazing man. I am aware he is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. All 20 months of our marriage have been a blast ... even those first six, somewhat overly emotional, months of adjustment. I continue to be in awe of the huge blessing he is in my life. What really amazes me is that he came along at a time when I was not avidly praying for a husband, even looking for one. God brought him to me, the right man, when I not only wasn't looking, but when I truly wasn't worthy of such a blessing.

I am also blessed by a wonderful family. Along with my husband, my parents and my sisters & brothers, have always been and still are my best friends. They meet most of my friendship needs, and my community needs. It doesn't mean I don't have friends outside them, but my need for outside friends is not as great as it is with some. As life goes on, I become more and more aware of just how unusual my family is. And the more aware of that I become, the more grateful I am for each and every one of them. My experiences as part of a big family leave me inclined to have a big family of my own (I know I know, better start that soon). And again, I was just born into this family. Before I even had a chance to try and be worthy, God chose to bless my life with this amazing and Godly group of people.

... which brings me to something I've been pondering lately. The very definition of a blessing is to receive something we do not deserve, have not earned or paid for, something that will bring us joy and happiness. Yes, I believe God blesses the faithful because they are faithful, but I also think its important to remember that we do nots EARN God's blessing. We don't earn anything we receive from God. He loved us first, remember? He loved us when we did not deserve it, when we were unworthy of even a glance in our general direction. And yet, not only did he glance in our general direction, he has called us each by name, loved us each individually, though we are sinners and unworthy. What an awesome God we serve!

Of late I have been a nominal servant of Christ. I make it to church regularly, and I genuinely struggle with my tepid spirituality, knowing there is so much God wants to show me if I would only seek him. But I have not actively pursued God for some time. And I'm finding myself more and more unworthy of his love and attention, not to mention his blessings. I've done nothing to deserve them ... and yet, he continues to show his love for me in so many ways. Let me say again, what an awesome God we serve! And what's more, I believe he will pursue me until the day I die and finally meet him face to face. There is great comfort in that.

But I am feeling the weight of responsibility begin to get heavier these days. The only logical response to such love and care is to love in return, to pursue in return, to serve in return. And for the first time in a long time ... a very long time ... I am beginning to let go of my fears of what pursuing God might mean. You see, I used to pursue God passionately, and then He took me to China, and I endured four very difficult years. Its crazy that I should still fear hardship, when that time in China ended over four years ago, and even though those were hard years, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Weird how the mind works sometimes .... At any rate, God's unconditional and persistent love for me is drawing back, growing within me a desire to love Him passionately in return.

What other response could there be in the midst of so much blessing?

picture of the week

weekends are my favorite

It doesn't seem to matter what I do with a weekend, whether I relax to the point of boredom or spend the whole weekend getting things done, I'm never quite ready for Monday when it comes. And so I start wishing my weekends were longer, and since I'm wishing, I might as well wish big right? So I start wishing my weekends were 7 days long, maybe 19, maybe never ending. I wonder what it would feel like for all of life to be a weekend? I'm certainly willing to participate in the experiment.

Unfortunately, the sometimes-too-reasonable side of my personality recognizes that all play and no work isn't really good for a person. I might begin to lose a sense of the value of things, I might become idle and indulgent, and therefore selfish with my time and my resources. I'd certainly lose any semblance of routine, which is necessary for my very existence. Too much of a good thing also keeps us from truly appreciating that good thing. For instance, if I had mint chocolate chip ice cream three times a day, I'd cease to truly appreciate its superiority over all other foods, and maybe even find myself wishing for a different flavor (I know, the sacrilege!). And I have a feeling these rules can be applied to weekends, too. If it were always the weekend, I wouldn't have a weekend to look forward to. And I wonder ... would I look forward to work? There's a concept.

So I've decided my problem isn't so much that my weekend is so short, its that the things I get/have to do during the work week aren't exactly stimulating, exciting, thrill-inducing. I wake up on Monday to another week of filing, phone answering, computer staring, coffee making and list completing. Don't get me wrong, I have a good job. Its not stressful, I work with great people, and I get paid decently enough. But, I think the bottom line is that my "daily grind" is mostly that, a grind. Its not stressful, but its also not really challenging or brain-stimulating. Its become something I need to get through so I can get to the things I really truly enjoy ... travel, knitting, reading, spending time with people I love, sleeping, writing, studying. And yes, I get to do these things periodically, but wouldn't it be great to get paid for these things?! Oh, with what JOY I would awake every morning!

The other day I watched the end of a football game. It was a pro game, don't even ask me who the teams were. But it was snowing, and by the end of the game you couldn't see the lines on the field for the snow. And here were these big burly football players, playing in the snow. They were slipping and sliding and dropping the ball. I'm sure it was frustrating at times, but those guys looked like they were having a ball ... even throwing snowballs between plays. I am just SURE those players get up every morning and say, "We get to play football today!" I envy those people who get to realize life-long dreams and do what they truly love to do. Professional athletes, travel writers, knitting pattern designers, editors, columnists, talk show hosts.... I know even for them every day isn't cherry picking and coconut cream pie, but still ... there's got to be a difference, don't you think?

On many levels, I couldn't even tell you right now what my dream job is. But I'm madly searching my soul for those ideas, and then I want to turn those ideas into something tangible and doable. I imagine motherhood will be a fantastic job, but right now I'm looking for those occupations that result in cold hard cash. I harbor no delusions that I'll be able to be a non-working mom. I live in Southern California, and unless we win the lottery some time soon, I'm going to have to continue working after we have kids. So the search continues for the perfect stay-at-home job situation, one that I get excited about, one that uses my talents and my passions, one where I feel like I'm challenged to be better than I am, one that gets my blood flowing. I want to wake up on a Monday morning one day and be truly excited about what the day has to hold. I know I know, perhaps an attitude change would help me with that even now, and I'll work on that. But it doesn't mean I can't keep looking for something better.

Carpe Diem!

pictures finally posted

I know its a little after-the-fact, but I've finally posted all the pictures I took during Christmas. There are three places to look (click on the link or on any of the pictures):

Christmas 2007

Family Reunion 2007

Latest Knitted Projects

Have fun browsing!

New Year's Resolution #4

The last of my somewhat formal resolutions is the most difficult to articulate ... which is why its last. In importance it should probably be first, but I've been reluctant to try and put it into words. I think the idea as a whole still needs serious thought on my part, and I don't like to write unless I've thought things through a little more thoroughly. But I've decided I need to start somewhere, so I start here, on my blog, for the world to judge as it will.

As I've alluded to in previous posts, I have become quite disgruntled with my own state of spiritual dryness. And it is high time I do something about this. And I figure, what better time than the beginning of a new year to start fresh in my relationships, too? And embarrassing as it may be to admit, it happens that my most important relationship has become my most neglected relationship. And that needs to change. Christ should be at the center of my life, and he's not right now.

I have made one commitment for the new year that I am confident will help move me in the direction I want to go. I've joined a women's mentoring program at my church that begins at the end of this month. I'm looking forward to the Bible study, the mentoring, the cooking lessons (yes, cooking lessons), and to the fellowship with women wiser and more committed to their spiritual affairs than I have been of late. Just being around women like that is such an encouragement, and spurs me on to be more like them.

I am also considering joining the Women's Bible Study at my church when it starts up again next month. Most of the girls I know go to the morning study, which I can't attend because of work. However, there is an evening version, which technically I'm able to attend. I've had all kinds of excuses why I don't go, but I'm starting to wonder if those excuses aren't just that, excuses. Spiritual growth takes work, sacrifice, and time. And these are the very things I'm loathe to give up. I'm just starting to wonder if in this case the end result might justify the means. I know I need some external structure to begin growing again, to be challenged, to be in the Word, to be praying.

I know one night a week doesn't sound like much to some, but I am a low-activity introverted homebody, and committing to another night out a week is actually a really big decision for me, even when it comes to things that I not only want, but know are good for me.

Perhaps you can begin to see how this is my least defined resolution for the year, and yet one of utmost importance. I guess the one comforting thing is that my spiritual growth is only partly my job. God does most of it actually. My main responsibility is to be open and inquiring and to keep my ears open.

I'll keep you updated.

New Year's Resolution #3

Part I: This is the last year anything weight-related will be on this list.

Part II: First, I will remember that life doesn't start 20 pounds from now, it starts today. I am who I am today, and who I am today is OK.

Part III: With that in mind, I will endeavor to lose the last 20 pounds attached to my original goal of reaching my driver's license weight.

Part IV: After this weight is gone, I will no longer fret or worry over it, I will be happy as I am, the way God made me, healthy once again, at an appropriate weight for me. As I pursue weight loss, I will continue to weave healthier living with exercise and diet into my daily life. My ultimate goal is health, not unrealistic supermodel sizes.

Part V: Next year, and every year after that, the only new year's resolution related to this topic will be to continue to recognize that I am exactly as God made me, and with that I can be happy and content.

Christie's Hat

I forgot I did take a few pictures of Christie in her hat I made her ... they're not the best photos, 'cause they're a little dark, and her hat is a dark blue, but here they are just the same. The thing about this hat is that I had fixed the problems I had with it previously. Its boring to explain, but the cables were off by one stitch, if it was made the way the pattern said it should be. So I just changed the pattern, and it came out the way I think looks better.

The bows were Christie's addition. :)

Christmas knitted projects

Well, I didn't reach my goal in knitting something for EVERYONE on my Christmas list (turns out knitting can take a long time), but I did get a few done. With everything I make I'm learning new techniques and getting more uniform. I thought I'd share the things I made for my sisters.

This is Amy, modeling the hat I made for her. This one was tricky, because its knitted from the top down, starting with just four stitches. I used 100% cotton yarn because Amy has sensitive skin, and most wool yarns itch too much. I'm thinking of making one for myself, I really liked how this one turned out.

This is Rachel modeling the fingerless mitts I made for her. These were my favorite project this Christmas, mostly because, honestly, I was pretty impressed with myself. They were the first thing I'd ever tried like this. This kind of color knitting is called "intarsia," and I can't wait to try more.

Its hard to see the pattern in Julie's hat, but its a fun mock-cable kind of look. And I love the variegated yarn, in perfect Julie colors.

This is the back. You can see the pattern a little better here ....

I also made hats for Caleb's sister-in-law Christie and for my cousin Jessie. I forgot to get pictures of those, but they turned out pretty cute too. Jessie's was the first I made of my own design, without a pattern. I also knitted my grandmother a scarf from a really soft bamboo yarn. That was also my own design, and I liked how it turned out. Again, need to get a picture of that too ...

I had intended on making hats for a bunch of the men in my family, but haven't quite perfected the "men's knits" look yet. Maybe by Christmas 2008? And I wasn't able to start anything for my mom or my mother-in-law ... they're at the top of the list now, though.

I'm currently working on two sweaters, both for myself. Before you call me selfish, I'm still working out the kinks on sweaters, and am not nearly confident enough in my knitting skills to attempt making one for someone else yet. I'll let you know how they turn out!

P.S. Don't I have the prettiest sisters??

Family Reunion Highlights

The 2007 Lindley Family Reunion was a huge success. For three days all 39 of us braved the cold and the camp food to spend some quality time shooting each other with paint balls and gloating about winning board games. We celebrated Christmas and Grandma's 81st birthday, we caught up with family who live far away, and those we just hadn't seen in a while. It was truly a great weekend. Here's a few pictures that capture a taste of the fun that was had by all.

The most exciting thing about the family reunion was that my grandmother was able to be there! Rather unwillingly, she recently spent much time in the hospital, and recovery has been slow. But she was feeling good and able to spend a lot of time with us all, making the reunion a complete success.

We celebrated Christmas together on Wednesday night, the 26th (which is also my Grandma's birthday). We had to play games just to see who got to open presents first. It took forever to get 40 people to open up their gifts, but we had a great time!

Rachel, Molly, Amy and Jessie playing games. By the look on Molly's face, I'm not so sure they're on the winning team.

Nerf wars raged throughout the weekend. Here's Jason looking particularly thrilled to be in combat. I think he IS on the winning team.

And then we have Grandpa trying to figure out how to get his gun to work.

This is Lincoln. At nine months he is our youngest member.

Thursday was paint ball day. This is the red team, Rachel, Jessie, Lauren, Jason, Caleb, John, Bob and my dad. I think they lost.

Dad, ready for battle.

Mom, ready to capture battle for posterity.

Here are the Auntibodies ... Judi (my mom), Joyce, Jean and Joan. (Yes, it WAS that cold in Pine Valley ... the temperatures never climbed above 45.)

David, Rachel and Amy ... all ready for a good nap after so much family fun.

New Year's Resolution #2

I will once again stand at the highest spot in the lower-48, at 14,495 feet. To train I will hike a previously un-hiked 14,000-foot mountain (rising my total of 14,000 foot peaks climbed to 3). I will again visit the Western Hemisphere's lowest point, 282 feet below sea level. I will have cider in a real Irish pub. I will see Norse fjords from both land and sea. I will drink coffee in a Prague cafe. And I will write down every experience so as never to forget.

New Year's Resolution #1

I will floss my teeth regularly, first to please my dentist, but more importantly to make Donna proud of me.