My Journey through Breast Cancer

On October 11, 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) ... or as we like to call it, extreme measures for a nap (EMFN). For a while, this blog will be my cancer journal. Enter at your own risk.

28 June 2007

cute babies!

I had a chance to take some fun pictures of the nephews during our time up in T.O. last weekend. They're now 9 months old and their personalities are becoming more evident with every day. Take a look here for the rest of the photos.


Here's Burke, apparently having a ball with Grandpa's hat.


Conrad's just kickin' back in Uncle Caleb's lap.

26 June 2007

a few shots from my birthday weekend

Well, it would seem the birthday celebrations have finally come to an end. Its been such a great weekend! Thanks to everyone who helped make it so. Below are a few fun moments from the weekend.



Bob (my father-in-law) and I have birthdays just a day apart, so we both got candles on the homemade German chocolate cake. Unfortunately, Pam's (my mother-in-law) candle collection is short on the number 6, so she used three 2's to make up for it.



My in-laws gave me more of the Christmas dish collection they began at Christmas. Now I can have you over for Christmas dessert, complete with Christmas plates and Christmas mugs. (They're such great dishes, I just might pull them out before the holiday, too.)



My mom found some great deals at some of my favorite clothing stores. This is one of my new shirts!



Mmmmm, homemade carrot cake. For as long as I can remember I've had carrot cake for my birthday. Mom came through again, complete with cream cheese frosting.

Thanks for the great birthday everyone!

25 June 2007

happy birthday to me!

Today is my 32nd birthday. Yep, I'm 32. Thirty-two. In Chinese, san shi er. 32. If 31 meant I was kind of in my 30s, 32 REALLY puts me "in my thirties." I'm a thirty-something. And honestly, I think I'm OK with that.

Being as how its my birthday, I've decided that a little overeating is in order. Kind of like at Christmas, when gaining a few pounds in a month is sort of expected. So, Friday night Caleb took me out to a fancy restaurant, La Vie En Rose. Its a French restaurant in Brea. It was a wonderful dining experience, with excellent service, delicious food, and of course, the best company. And since it was my birthday dinner, I ordered the chocolate souffle for dessert ... which, with Caleb's help, was eaten entirely.

We spent the weekend up in Thousand Oaks, celebrating not only my birthday, but my father-in-law's (the 24th) and my mother-in-law's (the 30th). Saturday started appropriately with a vanilla mocha from Starbucks ... Mmmmm. And then we spent the day shopping in Ventura. We stopped for lunch at The Habit, a hamburger joint, where I enjoyed a juicy hamburger, onion rings and a Root Beer. On Saturday night we all went out to the Elephant Bar. I enjoyed a fairly healthy meal of chicken and spinach, and then ordered the brownie sundae for dessert. I didn't finish it by myself. But I might have been able to.

Sunday I ate a little better, with cereal for breakfast and a little carne asada for lunch. At home we had dessert, homemade German chocolate cake and ice cream, and opened presents and watched the baseball game. It was nice and leisurely, and I didn't overdo it on the cake and ice cream.

This morning, it being my actual birthday, I decided to take my new Starbucks thermos/mug from Seattle (thanks to Ben and Darcy!) and stop and get another vanilla mocha on my way to work. Hey, its my birthday, and vanilla mochas are a treat. And the thermos is keeping it warm longer. Though, not as long as I would think it should ...

Tonight Mom is fixing steak and veggies, and most importantly, a carrot cake. For as long as I can remember, I've had carrot cake for my birthday. Its the only dessert out there that can truly trump something chocolate. Tomorrow the office is taking me out to Cedar Creek Inn for a birthday lunch, after which all of the birthday overeating must come to an abrupt halt. I still have to fit into that bridesmaid dress in less than three weeks.

Wow, David and Rachel are getting married in less than 3 weeks!! That's so exciting.

Anyway, I love birthdays, and the excuse they bring to eat all the things our little hearts desire. It doesn't always leave the stomach happy, but it can deal.

22 June 2007

a good man is hard to find

Last Sunday, when I was looking for Father’s Day cards (It was actually ON Father’s Day), I encountered a very discouraging selection. I was at Target, with all the other last-minute shoppers, searching for that perfect card for Dad … or at least one that would make him chuckle.

However, all I seemed to be able to find were cards that expected me to be amused by belching, drinking, scratching, golfing poorly, driving fast, ogling women, and handing out money to ungrateful kids. Unfortunately, I’m afraid this sorry collection of “funny” cards is more a reflection of our society’s attitude toward men and fathers in general than we’d like it to be. It seems the honest, hard working, wise man is no longer valued, not even all that desired in our world today.

And so to combat this disturbing fact of society’s downhill slide, I would like to take a moment to share some of the things my own father has taught me. He is a man of genuine character, and deserves praise above that of greeting card writers.

The following is a list of a few things my dad has taught me:

1. Few thoughts are worth being spoken aloud unless they are in the form of a question. You might find this an odd characteristic, but it is my dad’s humility and curiosity which result in his most common sentence being an inquisitive one. He always assumes someone else might know something he doesn’t, never assumes what he thinks he knows is the only right way or answer, and is always curious about the unknown. I think it is this quality that took us all over the United States on vacations, exploring back roads and never-before-seen sights. We rarely went to the same place twice. I once went looking for a book of California back roads as a gift for my dad, and discovered we’d been on most of the ones the author described as “remote.”

2. No pain, no gain. As a child I was a gymnast, and there were days, after coaches made us do too many push ups or too many sit ups, or days when I’d fallen on my head too many times, that I would start to complain. And my dad would look at me with the half-grin of his and, with a twinkle in his eye, say “No pain, no gain!” It used to drive me NUTS! And yet, he’s right. And I believe it’s a big part of what instilled in me the perseverance and drive necessary to accomplish difficult things. Most things worth having require a little pain and discomfort to reach. And now I'm not so afraid of that discomfort. (Just so you know he’s not completely cruel, he would often stop on the way home from the gym and buy me frozen yogurt.)

3. Its ok to cry. There are two instances I remember distinctly. The first was the day Jon, my brother, was diagnosed as diabetic. I came home from school to my mom explaining everything to friends who’d happened to stop by, while my dad was in the other room crying. Its not that my mom had no compassion, but seeing my dad’s feelings so openly worn on his sleeve really struck me as particularly poignant. If DAD can cry, it must be OK. Then there was the Christmas I called home from China with the news that I’d decided to get trained to return to China long term … My dad tried explaining it to the rest of the family, but in the end he had to have my mom do it because he was crying. (Another disclaimer: he’s not a complete basket case, just a compassionate man whose strength is in no way diminished by his emotions.)

4. Its important to laugh at yourself. All four of us Hammer kids have a pretty good sense of humor, and a distinct ability to laugh at ourselves. This goes along with Dad’s humility, and willingness to admit he might be wrong. It also goes along with his willingness to walk around in his cycling clothes after a ride, with his hair sticking straight up in three lines where the air holes in his helmet were. (See picture.) He’s a brave man.

5. One of my favorite things about my dad is how, after 36 years of marriage, he’s still madly in love with my mom. They have both been an amazing example of what marriage and commitment should look like. He was also very good at “dating his daughters,” teaching us how to spot and wait for a quality man ourselves. I know he worried about us at times, but in the end, and more than partly because of him, we’ve chosen well, and I know he agrees.

6. Its never too late to take on or learn something huge and new … just a few years ago my parents tried their hands at missionary work in Africa … the first time they’d ever done anything like that. And it suited them so well they’ve gone back twice! Also, he completed his Bachelor’s degree in his 40s, and got his Master’s in his 50s. Complacency will never be something that plagues my dad, or my mom, for that matter.

7. There is no greater movie than Support Your Local Sheriff … and knowing all the lines makes you a better person.

8. When in doubt about what CD to put in, choose ABBA! You can’t go wrong with “Dancing Queen.”

9. Ties are no longer necessary attire for doing business in Southern California, even if the CEO of the large company you’re working with doesn’t agree.

10. Death Valley IS a valid vacation destination.

11. 100-mile bike rides are not only possible, but should be attempted … even when one hasn’t trained properly (sometimes that Hammer perseverance makes us do things we shouldn’t.)

12. There are few things finer than a truly great photograph. (Check out the Doug Hammer gallery.)

13. Quality and excellence should be pursued in every area of life, at all times. (I blame him for my taste in expensive things … good quality always costs more!)

14. Perhaps the most important thing I’ve always seen, and continue to learn from my dad is that our relationship with God should be the foundation for everything we do, at all times. Without that, being a quality person, knowing movie lines, accomplishing things through tenacity alone … its all nothing. Without Christ, its all for nothing.

Thank you Dad, for the awesome example you have always been and continue to be. If only every girl had a dad like you …

21 June 2007

to knit or not to knit

A number of years ago, in that year between my first year in China and my last three, my mom taught me how to crochet. It was the Fall of 1999, and I was in the process of raising support and finishing my training to return to China. I still remember the first blanket I ever made. It was blue, the whole thing was made from one stitch, and it got pretty big … but I hated all the mistakes it had, so I ended up taking the entire thing apart and turning it back into boring balls of yarn. Though I considered this first project a disaster, it was the beginning of something magical.

OK, maybe “magical” is a bit of an overstatement, but I learned to LOVE to crochet. I made afghans for all my friends in China on their birthdays, I made scarves and I taught other people how to crochet. Over the years I learned where the best yarn shops were (in China), and when I couldn’t find what I needed, I had my mom send it to me. Crocheting became the perfect relaxing, creative outlet for me during my years overseas. My mom had taught me a valuable skill.

I’ve decided to start a gallery of my products of yarn. I’m interested in documenting the things I make, kind of like an archive. I’m sorry I didn’t take pictures of all the things I’ve given away over the years. Most of the things I make end up as gifts, and I rarely see them again.

Unfortunately, I have only one item in my crochet gallery so far. This afghan was finally finished in March of 2007. I crocheted 81 squares, then sewed them together, then crocheted a border. This one I made for me, for my house, and it really is one of my favorite afghans I’ve ever made.

Many of you probably know that the other main way to weave yarn into beautiful things is to knit it. Knitting is much different than crocheting. Crocheting uses just one hook, and its easy to pick up lost stitches and change yarn and all that. Knitting, on the other hand, can use up to five needles at a time! When you drop a stitch, unless you’re an accomplished professional knitter, just resign yourself to a hole in your garment. I tried knitting once, a long time ago, and after just an hour or so, I decided it was too hard. And I gave up.

But that was then. Not too long ago Caleb and I were in Borders, and I found this book of beautiful knitted scarves, with all the instructions on how to make them. And I became inspired. I wanted to be able to make these scarves, in patterns that can only be accomplished with knitting needles. No crocheting your way into these beauties. And so I bought the book, foolish as that may seem. Most of the patterns are for at least intermediate knitters, and I wasn’t even a beginner! But rest assured, I also bought a book for beginning knitters, with all the instructions on how to make the basic stitches.

And so, with my inspiration just an arm’s reach away, the beginning knitters book now forever open on the coffee table in the living room, scraps of yarn and a beginner’s set of knitting needles, I have begun to teach myself how to knit. Though it is still difficult, I’m not finding it as difficult as I remember it being. Maybe its because I’m inspired, I’m determined, and because giving up is for sissies.

After I learned some basic stitches, I decided to try one of the basic patterns. A hat. It took me a while, but I did it … and I only dropped one stitch in the whole process! Not bad for a beginner, eh? It’s a far cry from perfect, and a long way from complicated, but it’s a hat! Its wearable! My husband was kind enough to be the model for my first-ever knitted project. He’s such a good sport.

And so now I am scouring the Internet for more knitting patterns (you’d be amazed how many are out there for free), looking through my stash of yarn for inspiration, and well on my way to making my first scarf from that fabulous book. My goal is to have knitted gifts for Christmas this year. They’ll be small ones, like socks and wrist warmers and beanies. But they will be knitted! (And by the way, should you happen to one day be a recipient of one of these hand-knitted wonders, I expect profound awe and appreciation.)

Might I take this moment to encourage you to continue to pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do or learn, to get to the places you’ve always wanted to go? I’ve found having some form of physical inspiration can be helpful … very helpful in fact. When there’s something way out there that I want, if I want it bad enough, I am motivated to begin the baby steps required to reach it. (My weight loss journey has taken much the same path.)

I’ll have a permanent link to my crochet and knitting gallery in the list to the right. But you can be assured I’ll also alert you when anything new has been added, and give you a new link then, too.

20 June 2007

life comes at you fast

You know the National Life Insurance commercials? They're the ones with the tag line, "Life comes at you fast." In fact, their latest commercial is hysterical, you should check it out here. At least Kevin Federline can laugh at himself.

Anyway, last night we could have made our own commercial.

All I wanted was a popsicle. A fudge popsicle. Our movie (
*Letters From Iwo Jima) was an intense one, so not only was the chocolate calling, I needed a small break from the heavy nature of the movie. So I go to the kitchen and turn on the light, open the freezer door and grab two popsicles, one for me and one for Caleb. And that's when I made the fatal mistake: I attempted to CLOSE the freezer door. How dare I!

Well, its difficult to explain what happened next, but there was a lot of noise, and things falling on the ground and suddenly the door was very heavy in my own hand. It didn't fall all the way off, but it was definitely hanging in an awkward position. Caleb came rushing in, and we assessed the situation. It felt like the door had come off it's hinge, and yet it was kind of staying in place (just an inch lower than it was supposed to be). Caleb finally got on his hands and knees, only to discover the bolts that were once holding the door in place were completely rusted! And they had just had one door-closing too many, and busted.

We managed to get the door closed, and though it appears to hold on its own, we're not trusting it. So we braced it with the ladder. Besides! We have food in there that NEEDS to stay frozen! All those popsicles!!! I'd hate to come home after work today and find all my frozen chicken dinners and ice cream and ice all melted and making a mess of the kitchen floor. The ladder gives us peace of mind. The popsicles are safe!

Tonight Caleb will see what he can do to fix it, but I'm having an unlike-me pessimistic attitude about all this, and am just sure we're going to have to buy a new refrigerator. This one is more than 10 years old, which I guess is their average life span. So perhaps its time for a new one anyway.

Fortunately, I'm mostly finding the whole thing absolutely hysterical. We have a ladder holding our refrigerator together. How funny is that? And I suppose its a good thing we hadn't decided to buy a new TV yet ... 'cause we'd have had to take it back for a new fridge. Ah, good times.

*Letters From Iwo Jima was a very well done movie ... much harder to watch than its companion movie, Flags of our Fathers. Though both war movies tell a pretty graphic tale of war, there were elements of the Japanese side that were much harsher than the American, such as their refusal to accept defeat, to commit suicide rather than be captured as prisoners and live. I think I've seen enough war movies for a while.

19 June 2007

Father's Day slash (/) Rachel's Birthday















On Sunday, June 17th, we celebrated both Father's Day and Rachel's Birthday (which was actually Wednesday, the 13th). Mom put a brown tablecloth on the table for Father's Day and used pink plates for Rachel. Rachel had a princess crown ... Dad got to play bocce ball in the back yard. They both got presents, which I think made everything perfect. Click
here for the rest of the pictures!

18 June 2007

Under Construction

As you can see, I'm playing a bit with changing my blog around. What do you think of the new style!? Its bright, cheery, happy ... perfect for summer. However, its going to take a little while to get it the way I want it, I'm having to do a lot of tweaking. But please be patient, and check back often!

If you're hankering for the old blog at any time, its still up and running, the way you're used to, but I've moved it here. There's also a link to it on the right.

monday, monday

MAN, I'm tired today. Its 9:14, I'm at work ... and I think the only reason I haven't fallen asleep on my keyboard is the rather intense fear of embarrassment that would ensue ... with impressions of letters and numbers and the shift key all over the side of my face, drool leaking into the keyboard. Why am I so tired today? I didn't have an overly busy weekend (though I wasn't really home much). I was asleep by 10:30 last night. I actually started to wake up BEFORE the alarm went off at 5:40 this morning ... and yet I sit here at my desk wondering just how I got here. I don't remember showering, dressing, driving to work. And yet here I sit, my desk riddled with piles expecting me to make them smaller.

Could it just be that its Monday? I mean, Monday has always been a troublemaker. When you add to that the fact that I have to be up in the early morning, its sometimes a lethal combination. Could there be a worse time of the week than Monday Morning? I propose there is not.

I think I need to go get some coffee. Be right back.

Mmmmm ... that's better.

Experience has taught me the only really tried and true way to kick the Monday weariness is to get to Tuesday. I think Tuesday might be one of my favorite days of the week, simply because its not Monday, and it means Monday is another 6 days away ... the farthest away you can get from Monday.

But just what is it that makes Monday so ... Monday? I think a big part of it is I wish I had more weekend. Weekends are about rest, sleep, getting things done I don't otherwise have time to get done, tossing responsibility to the wind and staying up late, sleeping in late, reading magazines and watching movies. You see, Monday cuts my weekend shorter than I think it should be. By Sunday night I'm just getting into the groove of the weekend and then BAM! its 5:40 Monday morning and the alarm goes off and no matter how gently my husband tries to nudge me out of bed, I still consider him the meanest person I've ever known. (I'm so sorry! Its the sleep talking!)

The coffee (though decaf) is beginning to work its magic. Monday is now 9 1/2 hours over, and I have Tuesday to look forward to. As I begin to finally wake up, that thought alone is helping me push through the morning. Tomorrow I also intend to remember that Joel (my coworker) and I had made a decision last week to dress casual this week. I simply can't be expected to remember things like that on a Monday morning as I go through the motions, putting on my dress slacks and heels. But tomorrow, blessed Tuesday, I will remember. I can't wait to remember, and put on my jeans and tennies tomorrow morning, blissful in the knowledge that I survived yet another Monday, and I don't even have to face one for another 6 days. Yes, Tuesday promises to be happier ... I'm just sure of it.

12 June 2007

lots going on

Life has been pretty busy of late. Last week was one of the busiest I've had in ages. I had one free night in ten. Here's what I've been up to lately.

As you know, last weekend we had Caleb and Lindley staying with us all day Saturday and Sunday.

On Monday night I attended a shower for my friend Cori and her new baby Hailey.

On Tuesday night, Caleb and I went to an Angels game with Amy and her boyfriend Hans.


Wednesday night was our night at home, and we watched Blood Diamond.



Thursday night some of my friends and I went to a "Take N Bake," where we prepared meals for the next couple weeks, all in one fell swoop (we're eating them now, and they're really good).



Friday night we babysat Caleb's nephews in our home.










Saturday Amy and I spent the day shopping and setting up for Rachel's shower, and then we celebrated Julie's birthday Saturday night.








Sunday afternoon we threw Rachel her Lindley Family Bridal Shower, which was a blast.










All the things going on in the past week were definitely worthwhile and fun, but so far this week, I've spent most of my evenings sitting and staring at the wall. Sometimes the brain just needs a break, you know?

11 June 2007

more pictures from the Aquarium


I've finally posted the rest of the pictures from our weekend with Caleb and Lindley. Take a look!

07 June 2007

thoughts on Africa

Last night Caleb and I watched Blood Diamond, a movie about the illegal diamond smuggling that goes on in Africa. It takes place during the violence of the 1999 civil war in Sierra Leone, with its brutal and senseless killings, forced slavery for the diamond mines, and kidnapped boys forced to join a war that seems to have no greater purpose than one group seeking to rule over another. There is corruption in all of it, corruption that leads all the way to the Tiffany store on Madison Avenue. It is a powerful movie, artfully depicting both the beauty and the horrors of life in Africa. The main characters are well developed, dynamic personalities, showing the realities of everyday life, each from a different walk of life, each doing what they must to survive in such a tumultuous place and time. The movie does a fantastic job of portraying a world we Westerners know so little about, and giving us a glimpse at the heart and soul of Africa. (The movie is rated R, mostly for violence. I only counted 4 or 5 instances of profanity, and there was no sex or nudity.)

The plight of Africa, its poverty and its genocidal wars, has only recently begun to make its way to the headline news in other parts of the world. And yet these horrors have taken place for decades, centuries. Lately we hear about Sudan and the brutality of the Janjaweed. More than 200,000 people have been slaughtered and millions have been displaced. All over Africa you hear about the aid coming from various countries that doesn’t seem to make it past the local warlords and corrupt officials. The movie Hotel Rwanda showcased the barbaric slaying of more than 800,000 Rwandans in a fight between ethnic groups. The HIV/AIDS epidemic is widespread. And these few notes in history don’t even scratch the surface of the profound poverty, disease and violence still a part of the continent today.

As movements like the One Campaign, and countless other, often celebrity-driven, organizations start to make Africa’s travails more public, I find myself confused about what to do. The pictures in the media are heartbreaking, and the stories of war, violence and other heinous crimes against humanity can leave me shaking my head in sadness at the depravity of it all. But how do you bring an entire continent out of its long history of tribal wars and poverty? How do you feed an entire nation adequately? How do you begin to teach the younger generations to break from their deep-seeded cultural norms, which for so many generations have done nothing but harm?

The questions can be overwhelming, and I admit that’s a bit how I felt after the movie last night. The problem seems insurmountable. And though I realize things will only change with time, change still seems so ... unlikely. And while I feel like its not OK to do nothing, I can’t help but wonder just what I CAN do. What can I do? What can you do? We can write a check to a reputable charity. We can support one kid through World Vision. We can pray. We can even go and help in various ways. These tokens of outreach often seem so … small. And yet there is definitely value in helping even just one.

I’m afraid today I end my note with only questions. If you have the stomach for movies like Hotel Rwanda or Blood Diamond (they are both violent, and very difficult to watch in parts), I do recommend them. If nothing else they give us a glimpse at life in another world. And I would invite you to share your thoughts on this profound world problem of our generation.

04 June 2007

a weekend with munchkins

This past weekend, while my cousin and his wife were in Seattle, we helped them out by taking two of their children in, Caleb and Lindley. Well, they kind of took us in, as we stayed at their house for the weekend. But did we have fun! On Saturday we took them to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach, with lunch at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company. After a long day out and about, we came back to the house for a movie, dinner and early bed time. Sunday morning we were up in time to get to church, and then we all went swimming at the pool in our condo complex. After just an hour or so, we were all pretty worn out. Not too worn out for Mr. Caleb and Caleb to play video games, but worn out just the same. Then back to their house for Pick Up Stix, a little cleaning and another movie. And then, once again, bed time came early, which seemed just fine by everyone. The pictures below tell the story a little better.

Amy joined us at the Aquarium. We picked her up at her apartment in Long Beach, and then she had to squeeze between the two booster seats in the back for the ride to the Aquarium.

Caleb, Amy and Lindley at the Aquarium.

Mr. Caleb (as we dubbed him, in order to tell the two Caleb's apart) pointing out the seals and sea lions to Caleb.

Lindley petting the various sea anemones and starfish in the petting pool.

Heidi, Mr. Caleb, Caleb and Lindley at the other side of the seal/sea lion pool.

In the pool on Sunday. Caleb enjoyed "surfing" on Mr. Caleb's back.

Maybe Lindley should always eat ice cream in a bowl.

02 June 2007

summer wardrobe technical difficulties


Yes, it is that time again. Time for pool parties, trips to the beach, and weather so hot it demands a general sloughing off of everything possible ... stopping just before becoming indecent. In Southern California, unfortunately, that line is faintly drawn somewhere just before total nakedness. This can make summer a trying time.

There are some decisions that are easy. For instance: What shoes do I wear? Flip flops. What about with a fancy dress? Flip flops with sequins. What about for an evening on the town? Flip flops in a funky color. I love flip flops. They go with everything, especially in casual So Cal. I have flip flops in every color, and tend increase my collection every summer.

Another easy decision ... What do I do with my hair? Pony tail. At the beach? Maybe pig tails ... or back to the pony tail. In drastic times, I chop my hair off in the summer. Why bother with having to even put it up when I can just cut it off? This option scares my husband, so I've assured him I will instead suffer through the 20 seconds it takes to put my hair up in a rubber band ... but still. You have to envy the girls who can carry off the super short hair cut (Dori, you are the envy of us all).

But the difficult decisions tend to come when dressing oneself between neck and feet. There is a wide gammut of options. A VERY wide gammut. What complicates it all is the desire, and even the pressure, to wear the latest cutest styles. Why is this complicated? Beyond the obvious financial impact of constantly updating your wardrobe, it can often be hard to find the latest cutest styles that match the modest conservative values some of us attempt to cling to. Finding stores, prices, and styles where these two apparently oxymoronic ideas lie usually requires some sort of magic trick (or my friend Kimberly, who is a master at sniffing out exactly the right things in every store ... but alas, she lives in Florida, so we're on our own).

Lately I've been shopping for bathing suits, and have hit a wall. This is one area the shopping fairies seem to avoid like the plague. Stylish and yet conservative bathing suits, ones fit for church pool parties, are nearly impossible to find ... anywhere. And when I DO find suits that fit the bill, they're usually between $99 and $150 ... and still a bit dowdy. I don't spend that much on jeans! I just bought a bridesmaid's dress for less than half of that! Its ridiculous.

I do love that longer shorts are in style. I can easily converge my desire for stylish with my need for coverage. (My other fashion faux pas of Southern California summers is the innate inability to tan, so in an effort not to blind the general public with my snow white skin, I try to keep my shorts long.)

I am actually very much looking forward to summer. Warmer weather means not having to put shoes on that require tying laces, not having to grab several layers of clothing or a warm jacket. It means cute hats to block the sun. It means lots of cotton clothing, fun skirts and tank tops (after we've scoured the malls and stores for long enough skirts and tank tops with bigger than spaghetti straps). The shopping for summer clothes might be a hassle, but the season itself is a lovely time of year. Now, if I can just find that perfect bathing suit, with the perfect board shorts of course, I'll even make it through those 3-4 weeks of intense heat somewhere in August. (Kimberly, care for a trip to LA to go shopping??)

Happy Summer all!